Praying for a Rainbow

I can't believe it has been two months since I gave birth to Ryan. Like everyone says, it is hard to imagine life without him now. He is finally smiling and cooing like a pro. Nothing makes getting up at 5-6am more worth it than seeing him smile at me and smelling his baby scent (well, dark roast K-Cups help too :)) He can roll over from stomach to back and loves his play mat and swing. He is going about 4 hours between feedings, so not quite sleeping through the night yet. Here are some pictures from month 2:

Ryan gave me his first real smile this morning at 7 weeks and 5 days old! I could see it light up his eyes. It made last night's fussiness and lack of sleep worth it :) Hopefully soon I will catch it on camera. These are some videos I took the other day of Ryan playing on his mat and then having some tummy time (which he didn't enjoy). He really loves looking at the colors of his toys and mirror.

I found this letter that I wrote to Ryan, aka "Baby S," the morning I found out I was pregnant. I can't believe that this: has actually become this sweet little guy: Here is the letter: July 18, 2012 My dear Baby S, What an amazing morning. Right now, this is a secret between just you and me. And your big sister Faith. You had a sister who did not live outside my tummy. She was beautiful and would have loved you so much. You are my rainbow. I had a feeling you were coming soon. Last week, the neighbors across the street took a picture of our house with a rainbow landing right in it. Your Aunt Val also dreamed last week that I got two positive pregnancy tests. I love you so much. I’m scared to death. I just want to sit in the house on our couch for the next 8 months to try to keep you safe. I can’t do that, though. Please know that I love you so very much. Please grow strong and healthy and be born healthy. You are due March 31, 2013. How are we going...

Here is Ryan's birth story in timeline form: March 12, 2013 12am- Admitted to L&D for scheduled induction at 37w2d 1 am- Cytotec inserted to begin softening the cervix and start contractions 2:30-3am- Contractions became too strong and close together and baby was not handling them well, so the nurses came in to give me a shot of terbutaline to slow them down and oxygen to bring his heart rate back up. Everything ended up fine! 3-6am- Contractions were getting more regular, stronger, and uncomfortable. The nurse encouraged me to get my epidural before the OB came to break my water, and I happily obliged! 6:15am- 3 cm dilated, got epidural 7am- My mom arrived at the hospital and Joey woke up from his sleep on the not-so-comfortable couch bed. I was comfortable and resting (and putting on make-up :)) *At some point in here, the nurse started me on the lowest dose of Pitocin, but when the OB arrived, she told her to stop it because my contractions were regular and s...

Sorry this is so late, but here is Ryan Joseph, born at 10:56 am on March 12. Stats: 5 lbs 13 oz, 19 in long. He is beautiful and such a good baby. I promise to get a birth story up soon!

As of yesterday, I am now considered full term! At my doctors' recommendations, tonight is the night for induction of labor. We have to be at the hospital at midnight to start the process. God-willing, Ryan will be born happy and healthy sometime tomorrow. He was measuring 5lbs 15oz last week, so we are expecting around a 6-lb baby. The notion that in a few days we will be bringing home a newborn still doesn't quite seem real. I admit, it is a pretty scary thought, but I seem to be as ready as I'm going to be. I absolutely cannot wait to hear Ryan cry, to hold him, look into his eyes and kiss him. I know it will be a bittersweet moment as Faith will be on our minds as well. I believe that she will be with us. I plan on wearing my "FAITH" bracelet and her birthstone ring while I'm in labor to remind me of her life. If you are FB friends with me, watch there for updates and pictures tomorrow!

Here is Ryan's nursery! I managed to get it cleaned up enough to take some pictures. I am still waiting on the wall letters that say "RYAN" to hang above his crib. This Etsy seller is making me a little nervous, as she was supposed to ship them 2 weeks ago, and I haven't received them. I emailed her 5 days ago but haven't heard back. Hopefully they will arrive eventually. I still have a couple of more pictures to hang as well. Don't worry, he won't sleep in the crib with all that stuff in it! The wall letters will look like this, except obviously in blue: